|
Why involve the
significant other in treatment?
These partners tend to motivate the
substance user to engage in the treatment process.
Participation in treatment gives the spouse/partner tools that
help the patient deal with high risk situations. In addition,
spouses are a valuable source of information, providing insight
on topics the patient may not be willing to divulge. Treating
the spouse along with the user tends to improve the
relationship.
What purpose does
it serve to involve the significant other in the treatment
process?
Sometimes this question is blurred. Are
we trying to the chemically dependent and significant other as
two separate entities with their individually unique problems?
Or, as Systems Theory states, are the chemically dependent and
partner functioning as a unit that has its own emotional and
behavioral checks and balances? When the chemically dependent
partner displays certain behaviors that the other partner views
as dangerous or anxiety provoking, that partner attempts to
exaggerate the care-taking role. In turn, this exasperates the
dysfunctional behavior of the other partner. This causes each
partner to become emotionally dependent on the other, trapping
the two in a false sense of togetherness. To put it simply,
when one part of the system breaks down, the other part attempts
to make up for whatever is lacking.
The family system
When dealing with the members of a family
system, it is important to recognize the role that each member
plays. It should be noted that each member can assume more than
one role at any given time. The spouse typically takes on one
or all of the following roles. The rescuer does not allow the
substance use to be a problem; they assume the users
responsibilities. The provoker reacts by punishing the user.
He/she holds the partner’s actions against them and revives the
punishment in future conflicts. These roles are usually defined
in the single role of enabler.
To successfully treat the chemically
dependent person’s partner, we must guide that person away from
focusing on the needs of the using partner. They need to focus
on their own feelings, needs, goals, and desires. This is
achieved by having the non-using partner recognize that they
need therapy for their own distinct issues. It is the
therapist’s goal to guide the significant other through
identifiable stages of recovery. You will find these stages of
recovery almost mirror the recovery process for the chemically
dependent partner. Through this journey, the non-using partner
can learn to separate themselves from the problems of their
loved one, refute the role of victim in the relationship, and
create positive self-change. Through the use of Systems Theory,
significant others can acknowledge the part they played in the
problematic relationship and assume responsibility for that
part. By doing so, the non-using partner does not require the
approval of others, just the knowledge that they can accept
their partner for who they are, and, more importantly, support
and encourage change.
By identifying the behaviors of the
significant other that protect the chemically dependent person
from the consequences of their actions, they reduce the
disruption of the family system. Therapists and counselors can
actually forge a more positive relationship between the
chemically dependent person and their significant other.
The Next
Step
Editor: Leanne
Murray
Writer: Cathy Swing
Designer: Virginia Hart
Partnership for a Drug-Free
NC
665 W. Fourth Street
Winston-Salem, NC 27101
Subscribe to The Next Step
Return to Spring/Summer 2006 Table of Contents |
